Watching your partner go through a difficult time can be hard. We may have to deal with changes in their personality, habits, and priorities. It can be hard to handle.
Witnessing a change in your partner is never something to look forward to, especially if you love them as they are. In the end, you have fallen in love with the old version of them, and any newly added personality traits, habits, changes, or surprises might be less than welcome.
Unfortunately, we all change, and nobody stays the same for so long. Eventually, sooner or later we all morph into a version of ourselves that looks nothing like we were only 5 years ago.
It could be a positive change or negative, in the end, that could be very subjective as what looks great to you can look horrific to your partner. Especially, considering the fact that your partner’s ideas, priorities, values, and goals would’ve changed too over time. You could end up becoming completely different people when you were very compatible initially.
Today, we will list 5 major reasons why watching your partner change can be hard, less than ideal, and an actual nightmare. This way, it will help you come to terms with your feelings and provide some explanations and justifications for what you’re going through if that’s the case for you.
5 reasons watching your partner change is hard and accepting it harder:
1- You can’t recognize them anymore:
It can be difficult to watch your partner change, especially if they are not doing it gradually. If they are acting completely out of character, weird, awkward or different overnight; then it can be heartbreaking.
It’s important to remember that this process is natural and healthy for anyone. Not one person can maintain the same mood, behavior, and character regardless of the challenges of life and natural phases and changes in the relationship.
If you are in a relationship and your partner is changing be it gradually or overnight, it can be hard to keep up and it can take you by surprise. You might feel like you’re losing the person that you fell in love with. It can be difficult when you’re not able to recognize your partner and you find yourself constantly questioning who they are.
2- You miss the old version of them:
When your partner starts to change, it is hard to not feel like they are slipping away from you and that the person you love is gone forever. You might miss the old version of them and you might feel like you aren’t getting your partner back any time soon.
It is important to remember in this type of moment, that they are not just changing, they are growing into a new person with new interests, skills, and passions. It is also important to accept that the old version of them will probably never come back again. That’s why it’s important for both partners in a relationship to adjust and learn how they can support each other in the process.
Your partner is not forever gone, they still have all the memories of your shared sweet moments. They are still the same person that fell in love with you, and they probably still cannot resist the sides of you that used to weaken their knees.
There are many ways that partners can help each other through this difficult time. One way is by talking through what they are feeling and understanding how they feel about the changes going on in their life, which brings us to the next point on how to act in this situation.
3- You don’t know how to act around them:
Watching your partner change is difficult and often painful. It’s hard to understand what they are going through and what they need from you. It can be difficult to see the person you love change into someone new, which is why it’s important to keep an open mind while watching them transform.
This can be a difficult situation and it’s important not to make assumptions about what your partner might be thinking or feeling during this time. The best thing to do in this situation is to talk about it and try talking some sense into them. It is important to remember that there are always going to be changes in the relationship, even if they are not visible at first. So it is important to keep an open mind and try your best not to take it personally.
The hardest part of watching a partner change is not knowing how you should react or how to help them during this time. In order for couples to stay connected, it’s important that both partners are open with one another about how they feel and what their needs are during this time of transition.
4-You grieve how things were before:
One of the hardest things about watching a partner change is that it can be confusing and overwhelming. This feeling can lead to guilt and anger towards your partner for changing the way they do things, your routine, taking you out of your comfort zone or just changing everything about your couple and life.
In this situation, it is important to remember that change can be good. It is important to take time for yourself and try new things too to see what your partner is all about because that’s how you grow as a person, too. Maybe, your partner saw that a little change in dealing with things can be refreshing and reviving.
Unless your partner starts acting like a psycho overnight or becomes aggressive and changes only in a negative way, then the change should be welcome. Clinging too much to what once was, can be detrimental to your health, boring, and tasteless. So instead of grieving how things used to be, try to create romance by grabbing this opportunity and implementing new habits in your new couple’s routine and life.
On the other hand, if you think your partner is not adopting life from a new and different perspective but is simply acting rude then it might be a red flag. If your partner is not being themselves by becoming aggressive, disrespectful, or classless; then check this article to see if they may be going through a midlife crisis.
5- You have no guarantee that they’ll go back to their senses:
What’s hard, devastating, and confusing about having a partner change is that you’re not sure if this is temporary, just a phase, or a permanent change.
No one can guarantee that they’ll go back to how they were. Sometimes, people change for the better, but sometimes it’s just too hard to watch them go through a bad transition and not be able to do anything about it. It’s important not to compare yourself with your partner and also not let yourself become resentful of their changes.
Try to understand where the changes are coming from, and find compassion. For instance, if your partner is becoming more paranoic untrusting, and doubtful of everything it might be related to the fact that they just got betrayed by their best friend or hurt by a family member.