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5 Reasons why guys stop putting in efforts

5 Reasons why guys stop putting in efforts

It seems to be a universal problem that guys get “bored” or even “tired”, after they win someone ever, so they stop making an effort. That’s because they either got what they wanted, the chase is over and the thrill faded or they feel they proved themselves and can now be secure and comfortable, in their new relationship. 

Either way, it’s not nice to feel like you’re being taken for granted. Though it’s true that relationships ebb and flow, neglect is a different thing and it should be addressed before it tears everything apart. 

5 Reasons Why Guys Stop Putting in Efforts:

1- He’s Not a Romantic Person:

When a guy is trying to win you over, they will often act all romantic even if that’s not the kind of person they are. They want to impress you and make you feel their love, which is great. But if they’ve stopped making an effort to make you feel special, you need to have a conversation about it. 

We all have different love languages and it’s important to understand that. So, you should talk about that and find a middle ground between your love languages by making a compromise. 

Not being a naturally romantic person is not an excuse for neglect. Your man should put the same effort into your relationship as you do. Otherwise, things won’t work out. It’s also not about changing who he is, it’s about finding an organic way to give each other what you need. 

2- He’s Too Busy:

When someone is busy with work or anything else in their life, it’s easy for them to neglect their relationships, social life, or personal life. If this is the case with your partner, you need to address it with peace and love.

Not having too much free time is understandable, but they can still make the effort to dedicate some time to you. Your partner must try to see you even if it’s for a while, call you, answer your texts and plan something to make you feel special, occasionally. 

We all have busy lives, but we still find a way to make time for the things that matter to us. If he has time to hang out with his friends, he has time for you. If he has time to have lunch with colleagues, he has time to have lunch with you. Balance is possible to achieve, it just takes work, planning, commitment, and discipline. 

3- He’s Not Ready to Settle Down:

It’s not uncommon for men to not be ready for commitment, so that can be the reason why he’s stopped putting in efforts. Maybe you’ve been having fun and he really likes you, but he knows you’re ready for the next step and he’s not there yet. After your reading, think about checking our article on why you should leave if your man won’t commit.

Though he should be the one to come forward with that information because he should be transparent, you can still ask directly, if he’s being secretive or silent. Ask him why he’s being so distant all of a sudden, what changed? Give him the chance to speak his mind so you can determine where to go from there. 

4- He Has Lost Interest in You:

This is a harsh one, but it could be the reason why he’s stopped making an effort. Feelings change and though he may like you as a person, perhaps something is missing for him. It’s not personal, it’s just the way things are sometimes. 

When you like someone, there’s always the possibility they won’t feel the same way about you. If that’s the case, we’re afraid there’s not much you can do about it.

We can’t force people to like us or love us the same way we like or love them; we just have to accept that truth and move on to better things. Unless you don’t mind being in a one-sided love story or relationship.

5- He Thinks he has no role in your life:

When a guy stops putting in the effort, it could be because he thinks you’re too independent. If that’s the case, you should take the opportunity to think about your behavior and introspect about how you feel about your relationship. 

If you have your own goals, career, future plans, and path in life already drawn for you then you may make your partner feel irrelevant or unimportant. It is not a good thing to rely on someone else for anything at all, as things could change and you could find yourself alone with nothing at all to show for years and years.

However, it’s important to make your man feel needed and make him feel like he always saves the day or manages to be your hero. Men like to feel needed, relied on, and to have a role in your life that is bigger than the role of a piece of furniture in your bedroom.

Remember you’re your own person, grown, strong, and complete as you are, but making a man feel needed is not a crime either. If this issue is brought to your attention, it’s important to work on it so you can have a better relationship.


Guys stop putting in efforts for many different reasons and it’s important to get to the bottom of it. To do that, have a conversation, be honest about how you’re feeling and ask why they’re neglecting you. You can also check our article on reasons why your boyfriend or partner never does anything to make you feel special.

In the end, if they have a good reason, you can work through the issues. If they simply don’t want to be with you anymore or they’re “bored”, then you could try to spice things up or simply drop the entire thing and move on!

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