You’ve been talking to a guy for a while and everything seems to be going great when, all of a sudden, he pulls away. It was all sunshine and rainbows, but now all you hear are crickets.
He no longer sends you messages, you can’t remember the last time you talked on the phone, and the time between dates gets longer and longer. This feels awful but we dare say everyone has experienced it at one point or another.
Now, you might be tempted to do more than you’ve already been doing to get his attention back. However, the last thing you want to do is chase him. You deserve better and today we want to help you understand that by discussing 5 reasons why you don’t chase him when he pulls away.
5 reasons you don’t chase him when he pulls away:
1. He doesn’t respect you as he should:
When a guy pulls away from one day to the next without an explanation, it means he doesn’t respect you as he should. It’s basic human decency to communicate and be honest. If he can’t even give you that, he’s not worth your time or your attention.
You shouldn’t be chasing after a guy who can dismiss you so easily. It doesn’t matter how good he made you feel or how much fun you had with him, if it’s not consistent, let him be. Some men will even find that attractive, so he might come crawling back.
2. He wants a challenge:
Some men love the thrill of the chase more than they love women. Dating is a game and he could be so into that game that he forgets you’re a real person. He wants to keep playing, he wants the challenge, so he will start to play hard to get you because he senses that you “like him too much.”
Do we even have to explain how immature that is? If that’s what’s going on here, we say you’ve dodged a bullet. There’s nothing wrong with a little fun and games, but at the end of the day, you’re looking for something real. If all he wants to do is play cat and mouse but you don’t, it’s time to find someone new.
3. He doesn’t like you enough:
This one is harsh, but sometimes, when men pull away from a woman it’s because they don’t like her enough to make an effort. Once again, this is another bullet you want to dodge. If you feel like you need to chase a guy to be with him, that’s not what you should be spending your energy on.
Relationships are reciprocal, so if he makes it only about him, the best you can do is take his ghosting as an opportunity to walk away. If he liked you, he wouldn’t stop pursuing you so suddenly. He would go above and beyond to make sure he’s the only guy who gets your full attention. You shouldn’t settle for anything less!
4. He feels overwhelmed:
It’s not uncommon for women to be a bit overwhelming without realizing it. You enjoy spending all your time with him, but the more you chase him, the more he pulls away. If that’s what’s happening, it could be that he feels overwhelmed because things are going too fast.
Take it down a notch and see how he responds. If he pulls away because he needs space, give that to him and he might come back. Ideally, he would be forthcoming about his needs so you don’t have to guess. But hey, we don’t always do the right thing.
5. He thinks he has you:
Some men think that because you like them and you’re into them, they can do whatever they want and you’ll be okay with it. Granted, some women do teach men that this is acceptable. But, spoiler alert: it’s not.
Actions have consequences, so if he pulls away because he thinks he can come back any time, it’s time to show him he’s wrong. Take your power back. We don’t mean you should try to manipulate or control him, we just mean you need to honor what you deserve.
If he’s not ready to respect you and treat you how you should be treated, don’t chase him. And if he comes back, don’t make it easy for him. Set your standards and stand by them.
When a man pulls away, he’s sending a clear message. You need to learn to interpret it instead of blindly chasing him.
That might be your first instinct because you like the guy, but give yourself some time to process things. Once you do that you’ll find that chasing him is not the best thing you can do and, most of the time, it’s also not what you want to do.
And always remember to never accept the bare minimum when it comes to dating and relationships, because that will set the bar low and you’ll be teaching your partner to never work hard for your love and attention.