Things with your boyfriend are pretty rocky. You’ve done everything you can to work things out, but it seems like he’s not making enough of an effort. You want to shake him into action, so you break up with him.
One day passes, two days, a week, and he hasn’t made any contact with you. You thought he would chase you, but he didn’t. Why is that? Today, we will explore 5 reasons he didn’t chase you after you broke up with him to help you understand what could be going on.
5 Reasons He Didn’t Chase You After the Breakup:
1- He was planning on breaking up anyway:
If the relationship was already deteriorating and he was unwilling to make it work, he was likely planning on breaking up anyway. So, when you did it, you let him off the hook without even knowing. If he has given you all your stuff back and effectively placed you out of his life, he might have been thinking about leaving for a while.
This is cowardly behavior because, if he was planning on breaking up, he should’ve been honest with you. When you broke up with him, he should’ve said something about it and explained his position. If he simply said “okay” and went on his merry way, we’d say that’s a bit irresponsible. You deserve transparency.
2- He is shocked and hurt:
When you broke up with him, it came so out of the blue that he is too shocked or hurt to reach out or chase you. He’s processing what happened and he has no idea what to do. Whether the relationship was having issues or not, the shock of you breaking up with him can be paralyzing. Of course, you won’t know if that’s the case until you talk to him about it.
Once you’ve both had a few days to calm down and gather yourselves, you can reach out to have a conversation about what happened and how you got there. From there, you can either agree to work on the relationship or agree that breaking up is the best for you both.
3- He wants to experience single life again:
If one of the main issues in the relationship was his lack of commitment, he may have taken this opportunity to experience single life again. Perhaps he wasn’t ready for a relationship in the first place and that’s why it didn’t work out.
If you broke up with him and he has made no effort to chase you, it could be because he wants to go out with other people, flirt, and have fun. Though there’s nothing wrong with being on different pages, he should be honest with you. If he wants to be single, he shouldn’t have kept you in the dark about it.
4- He was in the relationship for the wrong reasons:
Sometimes, people get into relationships for the wrong reasons. Whether that’s because they want to get over someone else, they’re not in love but things with you are easy, or you support them financially, etc. Going into a relationship for the wrong reasons dooms it to fail eventually. Check out our article on why you should never date someone just “not to be single”.
When you’re in a situation like this, you know that feelings are not reciprocated and they’re only doing the bare minimum to keep you happy and get what they want from you.
This will lead to issues and if you broke up with him and he couldn’t care less, it could mean he wasn’t as emotionally invested as you were, to begin with. He was just along for the ride and it was fun for him while it lasted, but he’s not willing to make an effort to get you back.
5- He realized that the relationship had no future:
When a couple is not on the same page about the things they want for the future, it can be very difficult to make it work. Perhaps when you broke up with him, it gave him the space and time he needed to think about his goals and desires.
As a result, he realized that you weren’t the right match for each other. You want different things or you weren’t able to find the middle ground, so he may feel like there’s no point in chasing you. If that’s the case, you’re both better off even if you truly liked or loved each other. When it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.
These are only a few possible reasons why he didn’t chase you after you broke up with him.
Whether you did it to make him snap out of it or because you were tired of trying, his reaction tells you a lot about where he stands. Have a chat to confirm whatever suspicions you may have and move on from there!