Getting your heart broken by a guy, whether it’s for the first, second, or third time, is very difficult to get through, especially if you loved him deeply. So many thoughts rush through your head and you feel so many emotions at once; sadness, anger, frustration, confusion, and disappointment.
However, going through heartbreak is a part of life and it teaches us many important lessons. We might not understand those lessons right away, but time heals and it brings perspective. Most of the time, we’re grateful the guy took himself out of our lives.
If you have the opportunity to have a conversation with the guy who broke your heart, it’s not easy to know where to start. You want to know so many different things, but you also don’t want to overwhelm yourself. To help you navigate that, here are 5 questions to ask a guy who broke your heart.
What questions to ask a guy who broke your heart:
1- Is there anything I could have done differently?
If you haven’t been able to understand what role you played in the way things turned out, asking this question could be a good idea. It will allow the guy to explain things from his perspective. Then, you can decide if his feedback is valuable or not.
When asking this question, be clear about the kind of information you’re looking for. Essentially, what you want to know is if there’s anything you could improve as a partner or if they had a problem with an inherent characteristic of who you are as a person.
2- What would you have done differently?
This question is a great follow-up to the first question because there were two people in the relationship. You’re not the only one who could improve or learn something from this situation, so you’re curious to know what he could have done differently.
We all have regrets and things we wish we could have done better. Hindsight is 20/20 for all of us, so if you want to know what he would do differently and what he has learned, this is a great question to ask. If you don’t care at all about his experience, you can scratch this off the list and move on to the next question.
3- Did you hold your feelings back? If so, why?
It’s not uncommon for guys to hold their feelings back and have a guarded heart. Sadly, it’s very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone unwilling to be intimate and connect on a deeper level. If you suspect that’s what happened between you, this is a good question to ask the guy who broke your heart.
If the answer is yes, you should ask why because you deserve an explanation. If you gave the relationship your all, why did he hold back? Why did he feel like he had to keep his walls up when you were fully open and transparent? There are many different reasons why that could be, so asking him directly is the best way to know the truth.
4- Why did it have to end the way it did?
This is likely the first question that came through your mind when this guy broke your heart. Why did it have to happen this way? If you’ve thought about it and you simply can’t understand his actions or motivations, ask him this question.
If he never explained his behavior or the way he decided to end things between you, now is his chance to be decent and honest with you. The relationship had such a great start and you thought you loved each other equally, so how did it get to such an ugly end? Maybe he has the answer.
5- Do you feel like what you did was right?
If you want to make this guy question his entire existence, this question could do the trick. If he showered you with excuses for his behavior when he broke your heart, this question will allow him to take accountability for what he did wrong.
His answer to this question will show you if he grew at all and if he realized that it was wrong of him to treat you the way he did. If he says that he still feels like what he did was right, be glad because he did you the favor of getting out of your life.
We don’t want guys who can’t own up to their mistakes and who can’t be decent human beings, so be grateful that it ended.
Guys have many creative ways to break our hearts, but at the end of the day, we grow stronger because of it.
If you’re ever interested in having a conversation with the guy who broke your heart, asking these deep questions will put him in the hot seat and give you more closure. You can also check this article out on why some guys break up through text messages, if that’s what he did.