As you may already know, boundaries are the foundation of healthy relationships and balanced social lives. It’s the way we tell others how they can behave towards us, what’s allowed, and what’s out of bounds. In other words, boundaries allow us to become empowered and have a voice. Now, setting limits is not always the most comfortable thing to do, especially not if you’ve allowed people to go beyond your limits in the past. This is not uncommon among family, friends, and partners.
However, it’s very important to set healthy boundaries and enforce them in any kind of relationship, including work-related ones. This still won’t ensure that people will necessarily respect your boundaries, though. So, you may still have to occasionally find a way to deal with those that cross them.
The first step to dealing with them is trying to understand why they fail to respect your limits. There can be many reasons for that and everyone is different, but today we’ll focus on 5 common facts about people who don’t respect boundaries.
5 Facts about people who don’t respect boundaries:
1. They’re judgmental:
Judgmental people can be quite hurtful to others. They’re not only excessively critical of people around them, but they also don’t have much respect for those they’re critical of. These people often think they know better than everyone else, which is why they may not think twice about steamrolling others.
It’s not uncommon for judgmental people to think they know what’s best for you. In their mind, they’re trying to show you what’s right and they might even believe that they’re helping. However, you must stand your ground and defend yourself and re-establish your boundaries. You have placed them for a reason and other people don’t get to have a say in it.
2. Their social skills are not great:
Sometimes, when people don’t respect boundaries it’s because they lack social skills. People who struggle with their social skills often behave in a way that turns others away. They have a hard time picking up on social cues or reading people’s body language, so they often and inadvertently cross boundaries.
There are many different reasons why people may have a hard time with social skills and it affects the way they interact with others. Communication can be quite difficult and they may have trouble with self-control as well, which makes them a bit impulsive.
The best way to help these people respect your limits is by explaining to them as clearly as possible that what they’re doing isn’t okay and that they’re crossing the line instead of brushing it off. This way, they will know for sure how you feel about their behavior rather than let them create an illusion in their minds about being heroes or helpers. If they’re actively working on improving their social skills, they will appreciate your honesty.
3. They lack boundaries themselves:
People can’t give others what they haven’t given to themselves. So, it could be that some people don’t respect your boundaries simply because they don’t understand them. They don’t have boundaries themselves, so it’s not something they’re familiar with.
That may have a lot to do with the way they were raised or the kind of relationships they’ve had throughout their lives. Perhaps their parents or partners never respected their boundaries so they eventually gave up and stopped enforcing them. That’s something they have to work on relearning, so it’s not on you, but you can empathize.
4. No one has ever stood up to them:
For some people, disrespecting boundaries is a kind of power move. They like to push people’s buttons and see how far they can go. This is why it’s so important to enforce the boundaries you set. Otherwise, you’re letting them know that they can walk all over you.
If someone has made a habit of pushing or breaking through other people’s limits it might be because they’ve been allowed to do that for a very long time without consequences. Perhaps, no one has stood up to them or a few did, but they’ve allowed themselves to be put back in place, manipulated, or dominated.
There are all kinds of bullies in the world and you have to protect yourself from them as best as you can. People who don’t care about your boundaries or think it’s funny to cross the line, shouldn’t be tolerated but taught a lesson instead.
5. They think very little of others:
In this life, sometimes we have the displeasure of meeting people who are very much full of themselves. Narcissists have very little respect for others because they don’t have much compassion and cannot empathize with anyone. They’re selfish, not in a good way, and they only care about themselves.
Because of that, they will behave in any way they want without any regard for other people’s boundaries. These people are often quite toxic and it’s really difficult to reason with them because they don’t think they’re doing anything wrong in the first place, so we recommend you keep your distance.
Unless the people who don’t honor your boundaries start showing some improvement, you shouldn’t continue tolerating that kind of behavior nor should you let them in your life. You deserve the same level of respect you give to others!