Ghosting is a new phenomenon that is not yet well understood. It has been defined as “someone who suddenly, and without explanation or warning, cuts off all contact with the person they were last seen with or talking to”.
The term was used to describe the act of suddenly ceasing contact with someone who had been a friend, but it wasn’t until recently that it became popularised on social media.
Ghosting can happen for many reasons. Some people might be too busy to keep up with their friends and decide to break off all communication without warning. Others might have had an argument or disagreement that they cannot resolve or get over and so they cut off all contact instead of trying to work through it.
In today’s article, we will be answering the 15 most common questions about ghosting: from why did he ghost you, to if you should try to initiate contact again, amongst others. When you first get ghosted, you might be confused, angry, and not thinking straight, if that’s the case and before you make a rushed decision, read our answers first!
Most common questions about having been ghosted:
1) What does getting ghosted mean?
Ghosting can be defined as the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone one has been interacting with, especially when this is done without any explanation. It’s not just a term for dating apps anymore.
2) Why did I get ghosted?
To answer this question, we will consider the absolute worst scenario case, to emphasize that even if you got ghosted for the worst possible reason then it’s still okay. You probably don’t care about other possible reasons like how your ghoster might be busy or sick or whatever silly excuse, and that’s why they stopped answering.
So let’s face the harshest possibility: Maybe they lost interest in you, maybe they decided that you’re not their cup of tea or that they have higher standards. So what? It’s not the end of the world. Let them go, at least they didn’t lead you on or waste your time.
Remember one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, that applies to women too. So if she or he ghosted you for that reason or because they thought you’re not good enough, then maybe you find someone that’s better than them in many ways and that thinks you’re the complete package!
3) Should I text a guy who ghosted me?
It is possible that your ex had their reasons for not contacting you anymore. Maybe they were busy with work or with school, or maybe they just lost interest in the relationship and didn’t want to explain why.
Whatever the reason was, it is important to understand that they’re entitled to make that decision. Everyone has the right to decide who they want or don’t want to allow in their life. So don’t force things, and let them go. If you find it hard to do, then investigate the reason why you may have gotten ghosted. Is it because they’re in the hospital? Is it because someone that’s dear to them just died? Is it because they lost their phone and don’t have another way of contacting you?
If not, if you see your ghoster and they look healthy, happy, and unbothered then chances are they just decided you’re not worth it. So it’s time that you choose yourself and decided they’re not worth the chase either.
4) Is it possible to never get ghosted again?
No, you can become the best version of yourself, the cleanest, most charming, most attractive, most fun and you’d still not be someone’s cup of tea. It’s just how the world is designed to be. We’re all different and diverse even in what we like and what attracts us and that’s beautiful!
If you become the best possible version of yourself your chances of being loved, appreciated, celebrated, and admired by more people will go up. However, there will still be that one person occasionally, who cannot stand you or who would simply think “not for me”. And, that’s okay as long as you stay true to yourself and who you are, without ever pretending to be something you’re not.
5) What to do when someone who ghosted you comes back?
Listen to their reasons. See what they have to say, and decide if it’s good enough reasons that you can forgive or not. If you think they’re just back to waste your time again and see what they can get out of you before they disappear again then it’s not worth it. If you think they genuinely regretted what they’ve done and they’re there to stay this time then give it a shot.
6) How to get back at someone who ghosted you?
You don’t! You don’t need to get stuck in petty games, silly revenge, and whatnot. They didn’t even do something that bad, let’s face it. You yourself probably ghosted a few people in the past, when you don’t want to be rude or brutal about how you’re no longer interested.
If someone has ghosted you it can be more or less painful depending on the context, we get it. For instance, if you were only intimate last night or two days ago and now they fully ghosted you and never reply again, it can be devastating. However, as long as nobody forced you to do anything, you have to accept that what you decided to do was your choice.
It will probably teach you a lesson about not letting someone in so soon and before you understand their motives, but in the end, you can’t sue them or do much about it. Learn your lesson, move on and understand that it’s not that bad if people lose interest. Maybe you can learn to do more to retain their interest and build suspense or an element of excitement in relationships.
7) Why was I ghosted before the first date?
Filtering or eliminating people before the first date is not uncommon. If you two met online and the person ghosted you before the first date, then they probably decided you’re not worth dressing up for or didn’t want to waste an entire evening in your company.
Not that you suck at all, it’s just that the two of you are not compatible. maybe they didn’t like your views, your thinking, your humor, or the way you talk. Or maybe, your priorities in life, goals, and expectations don’t match. It’s always better in this case to cut the losses early on and not even meet for the first date!
8) Why was I ghosted after the first date?
Filtering and eliminating people after one first date is also okay. This just means that although you may have passed the talking stage and obtained a date in person, you didn’t pass the test when it came to dating.
Maybe they didn’t like you in person. It was awkward. Something was off. The topics brought up were bad. The things you said were unintentionally offensive. There are just too many possibilities to count. Or, maybe they just didn’t feel that undeniable physical attraction, which is also okay.
9) Am I being ghosted or is the person just busy?
It doesn’t matter! If someone is not replying to your texts and has been ignoring you for many days, then there’s clearly some ghosting to it.
Everyone will find a way to contact their loved ones and the people they care about even in the worst situations in life and even if it’s just to tell them what’s going on that’s so bad.
10) Is calling out someone who has ghosted you a good idea?
No, it’s a very bad idea! We have an article here on how to call a guy out on his bad behavior, but by bad behavior we mean if he did something offensive.
Ghosting doesn’t fall under that category. You can’t force someone to stay in touch without you, especially if you go out there telling them off and lecturing them on it. They will just think you’re insane and they’ll have reasons to burn your bridges.
11) How to make a guy regret ghosting you?
Again, you don’t! Life is too short to go out of your way to prove your value to people who were incapable of perceiving it. If a guy ghosted you, let him go. And, if you’re so hurt then make a promise to yourself not to give him the time of a day if he came back.
The fact that you care so much about him indicated that there are intense feelings involved to some extent. This also means that while he might not share the same feelings as you or feel the same way about you, he will care to some extent or at least enough to come back.
If you’re hurt, you can decide now not to give him any chance or luck when he shows up again and you can work on keeping that promise!
12) How many days is ghosting? OR How long is considered ghosting?
It depends on how often you used to talk before. Someone who used to talk to you only twice in an entire month and skips a month or even two, might not be ghosting you.
On the other hand, someone who used to talk to you five times a day or more, and call you and stay on the phone for hours, will be ghosting you if they disappear on you for five days.
13) How to apologize for ghosting someone?
Send a sweet straight-to-the-point message to test the waters and see if they are ready to welcome you back into their life with open arms. If you have a legit excuse for why you disappeared you can mention it once. Something like: “I got promoted last month, so it has been hectic since then and very demanding at work.”.
But then, don’t focus your entire message on the excuse or trying to prove that it’s true. Focus it instead on your apology by saying sorry and on the other person by asking how they’ve been and showing genuine interest in their life, health, and any news they have.
14) What to say instead of ghosting? OR How to not ghost someone?
Something short and sweet. We are not gonna teach you the most common excuses to end a relationship or stop dating someone. Everyone knows them!
But, just in case you’ve been living in a basement with no TV or internet connection for the last two decades here’s a list of the most common excuses to end a relationship or let a date go.
However, when it comes to ghosting if you don’t want to overthink it, write something like: ” Hi, sorry we didn’t click, or at least that’s how i felt. I think you’re an amazing person though and I hope you find someone compatible soon. I wish you the best of luck!”
15) How does the ghoster feel after ghosting someone?
Relieved? They don’t think twice about it? If you’re asking this question to catch an ounce of regret in the ghoster’s decision to ghost then you’re out of luck. If the ghoster cared enough about that person, they probably wouldn’t have ghosted them in the first place.